Results in: Victimes to Blame

The pro-gun think tanks saw the Virginia Tech massacre coming. They didn't know the details - that this particular tragedy would happen in that particular place - Blacksburg, Virginia. But they knew that something like this was bound to happen somewhere, sometime and they were prepared. They have transmitted the pre-planned media offensive to their loyal hacks and flacks and the results are all over the American airwaves.

What was the planned response to the next mass shooting? Step 1: Blame the victims. Step 2: Argue that this latest tragedy is proof that everyone should carry a gun, so when a firefight breaks out, you can jump in, guns a-blazin'.

Here's republican cheeleader Neil Bortz on his show yesterday: "How far have we advanced in the wussification of America?"... "How the hell do 25 students allow themselves to be lined up against the wall in a classroom and picked off one by one? How does that happen, when they could have rushed the gunman, the shooter, and most of them would have survived?"

Here's (conservative web site) National Review Online contributor John Derbyshire: "Where was the spirit of self-defense here? Setting aside the ludicrous campus ban on licensed conceals (italics mine), why didn't anyone rush the guy? It's not like this was Rambo, hosing the place down with automatic weapons. He had two handguns for goodness' sake -- one of them reportedly a .22."

Note that? "Only two handguns, for goodness sake!" Why say that? What is the point? It seems to me that the point Mr. Derbyshire is trying to make is that these guns are not dangerous. The problem is these lilly-livered college students were too chicken to make a frontal assault.

Conservative pundit Michelle Malkin wrote: "Instead of encouraging autonomy, our higher institutions of learning stoke passivity and conflict-avoidance. And as the erosion of intellectual self-defense goes, so goes the erosion of physical self-defense."

Malkin's message? Again, the students were yellow and it's the school's fault for not teaching...what? Armed combat?

In his April 18 (conservative publication) National Review column, Mark Steyn suggested that Virginia Tech students were guilty of an "awful corrosive passivity" that is "an existential threat to a functioning society."

Getting the hint yet? These students and faculty were cowards. They are to blame for their own deaths, not the gunman, certainly not the gun. If only Cho Seung-Hui had busted into a convention of right-wing media personalities, things would have been different.

If only.

Here it is in black and white, the same message coming from several different messengers. Funny how all the conservatives had the same exact opinion on the same exact day, isn't it? Well, not really. They always do. It's not that they all think exactly alike, it's that they all get their talking points emailed to them from conservative think tanks each day.

After this tragedy, most rational people would think that perhaps we should take a good look at our gun laws, wouldn't you think? But not republicans. The gun lobby sees this as an opportunity! An opportunity to expand the market for handguns. With some hard work and generous amounts of scare-tactic help from Fox News, the handgun could be like the home PC - an indispensable tool for everyday life.

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And do you think that Americans would be satisfied just carrying a little harmless .22 (to paraphrase Mr. Derbyshire)? No, of course not. Americans are not satisfied with anything if it can be made bigger, faster and more powerful. You think the gun lobby has not foreseen that once we all have handguns, we will soon want bigger, deadlier weapons? Tom next door bought a .357 Magnum and now my penis feels small. I'd better buy a .44. Soon, we'll be pushing for the legalization of machine guns. Soon after that, your child will be going to school outfitted like the boy in the picture above. He'll have to because everyone he encounters - all day, every day - will be armed. You can shop at Uzis R Us.

On Fox News' The Big Story, host John Gibson asked: "So, theoretically, in this lecture hall where all 31 were killed, there could have been someone with a carry permit carrying their gun to shoot the shooter?"

Michelle Malkin, noted on her weblog that the university prohibits handguns. She then quoted a weblog post from "Andrew's Dad," who wrote: "Just imagine if students were armed. We no longer need to imagine what will happen when they are not armed." Malkin also quoted an email from a reader who claimed: "Imagine if sensible CCW [Concealed Carry Weapon] laws allowed people to defend themselves, this tragedy could have been avoided."

Yes, if everybody was carrying a weapon, no one would ever get shot! Just think of it! Every drunk in every bar, every anger-management dropout who just got cut off in traffic, every high school gang member, every survivalist that fancies himself a hero in the making, all toting guns. What a beautiful thought. Violence would surely disappear.

Why just look around the world! Look at those countries where everyone has a gun: Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia. Perfect pictures of pastoral peace, they are. Now look at those places where no one has a gun: England, France, Germany, Japan, the Netherlands. Oh, the carnage that goes on there, day after day. You know the stats. More people are murdered in the US every year than all of western Europe and Japan combined. You can throw in nearly every country on Earth and the US still tops the total.

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Remember as you see and hear these opinions and slanted stories invade your auto and your living room: These are the same people who thought the Iraq war was just a crackerjack idea. They also claim that it's all going wonderfully over there. I'm just saying take the source into consideration. They don't seem to be very good at predicting human behavior.

So, which way do you want your country to go? Do you want to be more like Pakistan or more like Belgium? We already know which way the gun lobby wants to go. Just turn on Fox News and you'll get the message: Don't be a pussy, buy a gun.