Meet the Parents

I gave everyone a little taste of Mrs. Wit's parents a few posts back and if you read it, you know that they can be a bit uptight and Mrs. Wit has serious issues with them. We tried once before to inform them that we are getting divorced but Mrs. Wit couldn't go through with it. She was just so worried about dealing with their disapproval that she chickened out in the middle of the dinner to which we had invited ourselves, for the express purpose of springing the divorce news.

On Saturday, Mrs. Wit began to feel pressure to go ahead and drop the bomb, as they were heading out of town for two weeks starting Monday and she didn't relish the idea of slapping them upside the head with the D-word during our father's day celebrations on Sunday.

So, for a couple of hours, she procrastinated and stressed and picked up the phone only to freak out and hang up before dialing. I felt so sorry for her that I finally called them myself and said we wanted to come over to tell them some news.

God knows what they thought we were going to say...pregnancy, leukemia, who knows? In the car, we rehearsed our answers to the anticipated questions and decided which questions we would just refuse to answer. It was like preparing for giving testimony.

We arrived and sat down with Mrs. Wit's mother while her father puttered around in the back of the the house trying to fix some reading glasses or something. We sat for fifteen awkward minutes making nervous small talk, all of us knowing we were going to drop something heavy on the parents, but not being able to get to the point without the father present. Mrs. Wit's mother's jaw clenched and unclenched as we waited.

When everyone was present, Mrs. Wit just blurted out the news, prompting her mother to exclaim "WHY!?"

We sputtered and blew our lines trying to give a reasonable account of our decision when the father interrupted and said, "Wait. You don't have to explain. If you want to tell us, you will when you're ready. In the meantime, we'll do whatever we can to help you. Just let us know if you need anything."

It seems small, but that exchange was remarkable. Mrs. Wit's mother demonstrated that she cared about us - something that she usually has a problem doing. The father was non-judgemental and offered unconditional support, which is something Mrs. Wit rarely has received from him. In short, the parents reacted better than we had ever dreamed. Sometimes people surprise you.

Another surprise was that this reaction on the part of the parents blew our whole game plan, which called for me to be the strong one and do most of the talking so that Mrs. Wit wouldn't lose it. She was so bouyied by the good reaction that she kept her head while I choked up. I couldn't say much except to thank them for how well they have always treated me and for being closer to me than my own parents. I meant every word. I will miss them.

Now the news is out. Everyone knows. Telling Mrs. Wit's parents made things more certain, more definite. There's no changing our minds now.