There is a guy in my office building that annoys the crap out of me. He sells life insurance and securities. I also sell life insurance and securities. Well, I have those licenses, but I really don't sell much of those things personally. But no matter how many times I have tried to explain this to my neighbor, he still thinks we have this thing in common. What's more, he seems to think we are in some sort of personal competition.
Let's say that for a guy who sells insurance for a living, I have a very low opinion of sales people. People who are good at sales usually can't sell me a thing because I can't take their rap. The whole attitude and approach of the 'typical' salesperson rubs me the wrong way and this guy is the typical salesman.
Every time I run into Mr. Supersalesman in the hallway, the conversation is the same:
Mr. Supersalesman: Hey! Bugwit! How ya doin!?
Me: Fine.
MSS: How's business?
Me: Fine
(long pause while he waits for me to return the question, but I really couldn't give a fuck how his business is doing).
MSS: (Ignoring that I haven't asked, he answers the question anyway) Well, I'm going like gangbusters! I'm going to close a three million dollar deal tonight!
Me: Wow.
MSS: Yeah! And tomorrow, I'm seeing a guy about a half-million-dollar deal.
Me: Huh.
(awkward pause while he waits for me to try to one-up him)
Me: Well, nice talking to you, Super, but I have to get back to work.
MSS: (Smiling broadly and giving me the thumbs up) Okay! Nose to the grindstone! Go crank out some sales!
Me: Yeah. You, too.
Why he thinks I want to engage in penis fencing with him about sales I have no idea, but I avoid the guy whenever I can. If he's getting out of his car when I pull into the parking lot in the morning, I drive around the block. If he's coming out of the building when I'm getting out of my car, I stay and listen to the radio until he drives away.
Today, I was in the common bathroom that is shared by the entire floor of the office building, sitting in the stall and just finishing up when MSS comes in. I knew it was him because he always flies through the door like his hair is on fire and he plans on sticking his head in the toilet to put it out. By the time he made it to the urinal he was already letting loose, which means that he must have unzipped in the hallway, or possibly his own office. The guy must wait until he needs a rubber band to hold it in then runs headlong to the facilities.
Even though I was finished, I sat where I was and waited for him to leave so that I wouldn't have to talk to him.
Someday, someone is going to be on the other side of that door when he flings it open. Since there are only three men on this floor, it will most likely it will be me. He'll knock out my front teeth with the door, then fall over me with his dick in his hand and piss all over us both. I know that when we get up off the floor, covered in urine and blood, he won't apologize. He'll ask, "So how's business?"
Let's say that for a guy who sells insurance for a living, I have a very low opinion of sales people. People who are good at sales usually can't sell me a thing because I can't take their rap. The whole attitude and approach of the 'typical' salesperson rubs me the wrong way and this guy is the typical salesman.
Every time I run into Mr. Supersalesman in the hallway, the conversation is the same:
Mr. Supersalesman: Hey! Bugwit! How ya doin!?
Me: Fine.
MSS: How's business?
Me: Fine
(long pause while he waits for me to return the question, but I really couldn't give a fuck how his business is doing).
MSS: (Ignoring that I haven't asked, he answers the question anyway) Well, I'm going like gangbusters! I'm going to close a three million dollar deal tonight!
Me: Wow.
MSS: Yeah! And tomorrow, I'm seeing a guy about a half-million-dollar deal.
Me: Huh.
(awkward pause while he waits for me to try to one-up him)
Me: Well, nice talking to you, Super, but I have to get back to work.
MSS: (Smiling broadly and giving me the thumbs up) Okay! Nose to the grindstone! Go crank out some sales!
Me: Yeah. You, too.
Why he thinks I want to engage in penis fencing with him about sales I have no idea, but I avoid the guy whenever I can. If he's getting out of his car when I pull into the parking lot in the morning, I drive around the block. If he's coming out of the building when I'm getting out of my car, I stay and listen to the radio until he drives away.
Today, I was in the common bathroom that is shared by the entire floor of the office building, sitting in the stall and just finishing up when MSS comes in. I knew it was him because he always flies through the door like his hair is on fire and he plans on sticking his head in the toilet to put it out. By the time he made it to the urinal he was already letting loose, which means that he must have unzipped in the hallway, or possibly his own office. The guy must wait until he needs a rubber band to hold it in then runs headlong to the facilities.
Even though I was finished, I sat where I was and waited for him to leave so that I wouldn't have to talk to him.
Someday, someone is going to be on the other side of that door when he flings it open. Since there are only three men on this floor, it will most likely it will be me. He'll knock out my front teeth with the door, then fall over me with his dick in his hand and piss all over us both. I know that when we get up off the floor, covered in urine and blood, he won't apologize. He'll ask, "So how's business?"
.............
